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aka Joseph

  • I live in (Prefer to keep that secret)
  • I was born on February 17
  • My occupation is Smash Bros. Professional and Expert Doodler
  • I am (I'd prefer not to talk about my gender...)
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Bio-Broly is one of my favorite villains of all time.

(Source: TeamFourStar Wiki, Dragon Ball Z Abridged: Season 3, Episode 24: "Tiles and Tribulations" Transcript)

PERFECT CELL: Ladies, gentlemen, boys and girls, and that technicolor rainbow in between, I am Cell. You may remember me from the following cities.

(shows a quick scroll down of all the cities he has visited)

PERFECT CELL: Of course if you lived in those cities, you won't remember because you are now part of my biomass as I absorbed you. But that's not what I'm here to talk to about today. Today, I'm making an announcement!

(shift to Capsule Corp.)

KRILLIN: Please be leaving the planet forever. Please be leaving the planet forever. Please be leaving the planet forever!

(shift back to the TV station)

PERFECT CELL: I am leaving the planet forever.

(shift back to Capsule Corp.)


(shift back to the TV station)

PERFECT CELL: After I blow it up!

(shift back to Capsule Corp.)


(shift back to the TV station)


(shift back to Capsule Corp.)

KRILLIN: (wheezes) (shift back to the TV station)

PERFECT CELL: One of your planet's (takes an aside glance) "champions" (glances back to the viewer) can best me in one-on-one combat!

(shift back to Capsule Corp.)

BULMA: So Goku, then.

VEGETA: (off-screen) Shut up!

(shift to West City) PERFECT CELL: I am officially hosting a once-in-your-lifetime event! A tournament so grand, it will leave you breathless!

(shift back to the TV station)

PERFECT CELL: I hereby dub it... the Cell Games! Be part of the conversation on Twitter at #CellGames!

(shift back to Capsule Corp.)

YAMCHA: (looking at his phone) Annnnnd he's already trending.

(shift to Dr. Briefs and Android 16 watching in Dr. Briefs' lab) PERFECT CELL: For all of you familiar with your adorable little World Martial Arts Tournament, I'll be borrowing the rules. No brackets this time, however. Yours truly will be your only opponent.

(shift back to the TV station)

PERFECT CELL: And much like Vegeta's mother, (winks) I will accept all comers.

(shift back to Capsule Corp., with Vegeta staring at the TV with an angry expression on his face and his shirt off)

VEGETA: How dare...?

KRILLIN: (off-screen) ...Why'd you take off your shirt?

(shift to The Lookout with Piccolo, Tien and Mr. Popo watching the news on a TV)

PERFECT CELL: The location of this marvelous event is 28 KS Point 5.

(shift back to the TV station)

PERFECT CELL: If you don't know where that is, blame the cartographers. The games will start at noon one week from today. That should give you plenty of time to prepare. Or for those not participating, time to connect with loved ones, get your affairs in order, or maybe just kill your boss! Get a purge going! Live a little! Because in one week's time...

(chuckles and raises one hand at the back of the studio)

PERFECT CELL: Well, to give you an idea...

(fires a blast through the back to the studio that destroys many buildings and a mountain)

PERFECT CELL: So, keep that in mind, and I'll see you next Sunday! Also, feel free to pray to your God. But spoilers-- I won't be listening.

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