Piccolo (reading a parenting book): "According to this, teenagers need 'unstructured time.' Does blowing things up count?" Gohan (nervously eating cereal): "Uh, maybe unstructured blowing things up?"
Krillin (training with Tien): "Okay, Tien, hit me as hard as you can!" (Tien taps Krillin on the shoulder) "Seriously, Tien?" (Tien shrugs) "Master Roshi said a surprise attack is the most effective."
Vegeta (to Bulma, holding a baby Bulla): "Woman, this spawn is emitting an ungodly amount of noise. Initiate silent mode, or I shall be forced to..." (Bulla giggles, Vegeta melts) "Never mind. Continue operation: cuddle puddle."
Yamcha (lamenting to Chiaotzu): "Chiaotzu, I think Puar is mad at me again. I can't remember, did I say his new hat looked like a misplaced hairball, or was it last week?" (Chiaotzu raises an eyebrow) "Both? Ugh, I'm doomed."
Android 18 (reading a magazine): "This article says the key to a happy relationship is open communication. 17, should we tell Krillin we secretly think his new haircut is ridiculous?" (17, flipping a page): "Nah, let's see how long he keeps it." (Krillin walks in, oblivious)
Mr. Satan (to a crowd of reporters): "And that's how I single-handedly defeated Cell! It was a battle for the ages! A true testament to human spirit!" (Whis, invisible, nudges Beerus): "Lord Beerus, should we tell him it was mostly Goku?" (Beerus sighs): "Nah, let him have his moment."
Bulma (working on a new invention): "Vegeta, come help me test this prototype gravity belt!" (Vegeta scoffs): "Hmph, a mere gravity belt? What could it possibly do that a Saiyan Prince can't handle?" (Bulma straps the belt on Vegeta and activates it. He starts floating uncontrollably): "WOMAN! TURN THIS OFF! I LOOK RIDICULOUS!"
Frieza (to Zarbon): "Zarbon, darling, have you seen my new moisturizer? The one infused with crushed Namekian tears? My complexion simply won't tolerate anything less." (Zarbon, sweatdropping): "Uh, n-no Lord Frieza, I haven't seen it. Perhaps you left it on Planet Namek?" (Frieza throws a mini-tantrum): "This is a disaster! How am I supposed to conquer the universe with less than radiant skin?!"
Android 18: (Trying a slice of cake) "Hmm, not bad. Needs more explosions though."
Krillin: (Nervously sweating) "Explosions? On cake? Maybe some sprinkles instead?"
Beerus: (Fuming) "The audacity! How dare these mortals make a God of Destruction wait in line?!"
Whis: (Calmly sipping tea) "Perhaps, Lord Beerus, this is a good lesson in patience?"
Beerus: (Growls) "Patience?! I will destroy this entire line if someone doesn't serve me soon!"
Villain: "Prepare to face the ultimate power, Kakarot! My ultimate attack, the Galaxy Obliterator, will destroy everything!"
Goku: (Grinning) "Cool name! But before we fight, can you tell me where you learned it? Did you take a villain naming class?"
Villain: (Flustered) "I, uh... it doesn't matter! Just fight!"
Goku: (Trying to reason) "Come on, Vegeta, training doesn't have to be so serious all the time! We could have some fun with it, maybe even have a sparring match with a goofy name!"
Vegeta: (Scoffs) "A goofy name? Absolutely barbaric. What would you suggest, Kakarot? The 'Let's Tickle Each Other While Flying' challenge?"
Goku: (Beaming) "Hey, that's not a bad idea! Or maybe the 'Who Can Eat the Most Ramen Without Exploding' contest?"
Vegeta: (Facepalms) "There are no words..." (Secretly intrigued by the ramen challenge)
Frieza: (Standing on a podium) "Soldiers of the Frieza Force! Today, we conquer a new planet! Let them tremble before our might! Let them scream in terror as we-" (Suddenly trips and falls off the podium)
Frieza's Soldiers: (Silence, then awkward coughs)
Frieza: (Dusts himself off, scowling) "I meant to do that! A dramatic entrance is essential for a fearsome tyrant! Now, as I was saying..."
Piccolo: (Observing a group of children playing) "What is this strange ritual they perform? They chase a round object with their feet and seem to derive great joy from it."
Krillin: (Chuckles) "That's just soccer, Piccolo. It's a popular sport on Earth."
Piccolo: (Intrigued) "Sport? Is it a form of combat? Perhaps I should join them and demonstrate my superior skills."
Krillin: (Gulps) "Maybe not, Piccolo. Trust me, the rules are complicated."
Bulma: "Behold! The Universal Translator 3000! It can translate any language in the galaxy, even those spoken by alien squiggles and space jellyfish!"
Scientist #1: (Raises hand) "But what about telepathic communication? Can it translate thoughts?"
Bulma: (Smirks) "Actually, yes! Though, based on my initial tests with Vegeta, I wouldn't recommend using it in public. Turns out, Saiyans think in ALL CAPS."
Whis: (Clears throat) "Lord Beerus, there seems to be a disturbance on Planet Z. Apparently, a group of children have mistaken you for a giant space-dwelling house cat."
Beerus: (Doesn't even flinch) "Let them have their fun. As long as they provide ample belly rubs, I shall tolerate it."
Whis: (Sweatdrops) "Of course, Lord Beerus. Should I inform them of the potential consequences of upsetting a God of Destruction?"
Beerus: (Cracks an eye open) "Only if they stop scratching behind my ears."
Krillin: (Fanning himself) Man, that was close. Good thing you powered up in time, Goku.
Goku: (Grinning) Yeah! Though, I gotta say, that villain's energy blasts tasted like burnt toast.
Krillin: (Sweatdrops) You... ate them, Goku?
Goku: (Eyes widen) Wait, wasn't I supposed to dodge those?
Frieza: (Pouting) This new chair just isn't the same. It lacks a certain... death-aura ambiance.
Saibaiman (new recruit): Uh, Lord Frieza, should I maybe get you some fuzzy dice?
Frieza: (Glares) Dice? Are you mocking my reign of terror?
Saibaiman: (Gulps) N-no, sir! Just trying to add a little... personality?
Beerus: (Holding up a sparkly phone case) This one, Whis. It screams "destroyer god" elegance, wouldn't you say?
Whis: (Clears throat) Lord Beerus, that case is adorned with My Little Pony characters...
Beerus: (Eyes widen) What?! This is an outrage! Find me something with more skulls and destruction!
Bulma: (Sighs) Vegeta, just tap the card! It's not that complicated.
Vegeta: This primitive technology mocks me! It demands a sacrifice of Saiyan pride!
Cashier: (Raises an eyebrow) Sir, are you having trouble? Maybe I can help?
Vegeta: (Thrusts the card at him) Make it so, mortal!
Frieza: (Sighs contentedly) Ahh, this is the life. Tell me, attendants, does this gold face mask make my complexion appear more divinely evil?
Robot 1: (Monotone) Analysis: Your current level of evil is within acceptable parameters.
Frieza: (Scoffs) Acceptable? I demand FABULOUSLY evil! Apply another layer of the mask, and fetch me a cucumber for my eyes!
Robot 2: (Monotone) Warning: Excessive cucumber application may lead to an undesirable resemblance to a common vegetable.
Note: I made these with an Ai and just copy pasted them :/ Let me know if you want more or if I should include my OC's!